Monday, October 8, 2007

Reality of Failing....the (Illinois) Bar Exam!

So till now I kept on wondering what should I write about and how should I shape this blog. Should this blog be limited to the general topic of women or about me? The reality is that I am a woman and any blog about me is a blog about reality of women, or at least woman.

The first question is: Who am I?
Answer...without disclosing my name and personally identifying details, I should say that I am a South-Asian (Indian) woman who has studied all my life so far and finally put myself through law school while juggling with an emotionally charged new marriage. My career was about to launch right after I passed Illinois bar...but I failed.

I don't know how to describe the agony of the more than two month wait that led to finding out that I was 9 points short of passing. This was first time that I failed any exam. The reason for my failure could be different depending on where I dissect it. On the bar exam day, I mis-bubbled some answers and erasing lost time, which resulted in not finishing an MBE section on time. But prior to that, I joined BarBri and studied a couple of hours a day. I must say that I was not beaming with confidence on the day of the Bar. I have managed to regain my positivity about the upcoming retake because I can study more and how much I study is something I can control.

While I yahooed blogs for moral support, I found a significant lacking in people who openly came out and admitted to having failed the bar exam and its aftermath. I suppose this struggle applies to both men and women who have failed the bar exam or any exam that matters. I don't know how else to help rather than to say, you are not alone! For now, I'm going to focus on the things that I can control and move on with life and career.

Wish you all success in whatever you wish to accomplish in your life.
Till next time...

14 comments:

ghisop said...

Hello! This was very brave of you to write. I am still waiting for my results, not until November. I have been offered a position that is contingent on my passing- so if there is no good news, I will not be starting in January of next year. I am recently married- and we are just waiting on these results to get started with our life, so to say. Its amazing how much pressure ONE test can put on you and how much ONE test can affect your life. You will pass the second time- don’t worry! Everyone has a bad exam day- sounds like that’s what happened to you with the misnumbering! Don’t beat yourself up on what you might have done and just focus on what you have to do. I also agree with the Temping idea for work. I am temping now until results come out

ghisop said...

Hello! This was very brave of you to write. I am still waiting for my results, not until November. I have been offered a position that is contingent on my passing- so if there is no good news, I will not be starting in January of next year. I am recently married- and we are just waiting on these results to get started with our life, so to say. Its amazing how much pressure ONE test can put on you and how much ONE test can affect your life. You will pass the second time- don’t worry! Everyone has a bad exam day- sounds like that’s what happened to you with the misnumbering! Don’t beat yourself up on what you might have done and just focus on what you have to do. I also agree with the Temping idea for work. I am temping now until results come out

A Modern Woman said...

Dear Ghishop,
That seems like a very stressful position to be in. I sincerely hope that you pass! You are right that this is a very stressful test and it comes at a very interesting stage in life as well. It gives me hope to think that 10 years down the road, we'll look back and think that it was an interesting chapter in the book of life!

Walker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
memphis11 said...

Came upon your blog. I also failed the IL bar exam last year, by 2 points. Let me just tell you not to lose confidence or hope. And don't ever think you're not as smart as those people who passed the first time around. This past year has been a challenging time, but I've learned a lot about myself--my resilence, how strong I am, and how hard I can work to get what I want. The first time passers may never know that about themselves. After doing some self reflection, I took the July 2007 exam and passed and will be sworn in tomorrow. Let me just tell you failing once, and passing the next time around IS SO MUCH SWEETER! Good luck with your exam, and know that failing by only a few points means it was just a fluke! Try to finish the questions, practice your timing, and practice, practice, practice!

Anonymous said...

I just found out I failed the July 2009 bar exam. I knew right after the first day of the exam that I had bombed it so at least I'm not shocked. At the same time I feel embarrassed and isolated, especially after reading hurtful comments on other blogs. What can I do to get through this both emotionally and financially? How can I deal with other people and their judgments? Help!!

A Modern Woman said...

Dear Anonymous,
Don't panic! You CAN make it happen. Remember even Hillary Clinton failed a bar exam. Failing the bar exam has less to do with your intelligence and more to do with strategy.

I assure you that you can pass it the next time around if you focus instead on strategy. Are you in IL? If so, I can offer you some excellent tips.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for responding so quickly! Yes, I am in IL and would love to get some tips!

A Modern Woman said...

Hi!
Some of my tips are contained in follow up posts in this same blog. Some ways that I turned around this misfortune and passed the bar the second time around. Other than that, I can offer to tutor you if you would like. I have previously tele-tutored successfully and do not charge very high fees for it. I personally really benefited from individual attention to weak spots.

One tip is to focus on essays as they are the easiest place to improve. please email me at simplywoman1818 at g mail dot com

A Modern Woman said...

http://simplywoman.blogspot.com/2008/03/retake-of-illinois-bar-what-i-did.html

Read this! :) You gotta believe in yourself and believe me - there will be others in your shoes...even very smart classmates.

JD Girl Chicago said...

Hi,
I too found out that I failed yesterday. I am embarassed, disappointed, and distraught. I feel like I have to hide from everyone axpecting the news. I am going to email you simplywoman1818 because I was talking to my mother about getting some one on one help, and also becuase it's just nice to be able to talk to someone who has actually been through this. Anonymous, you are not alone in what you found out yesterday.

A Modern Woman said...

Hi JD Girl!
Absolutely do not be embarrassed about this. I know because I hid in my little cave for several months before I had the courage to post and talk to anyone. Email me if you need help or have any questions.

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